Ambition, Rejection, and Really Long Wait Times
What I learned from Included VC about the mental side of starting a career in venture capital.
Hey, Cristina here 👋
Welcome back to my corner of the internet, where I try to make venture capital feel less intimidating and a lot more interesting.
Two weeks ago, the Included VC Fellowship ended and I'm still processing everything. For months, I was part of this community of people who were, like me, learning what it really takes to break in and work in venture capital.
The cohort Slack is quieter now. The Sunday pulses are gone, no more daily check-ins or Investment Committee simulations. It’s sinking in how much I’ll miss having that rhythm and that community around me.
Up to now, I’ve written about some of the technical skills I picked up in the fellowship, the network effects, and how it changed the way I think about markets. This week I want to share something less obvious but just as important: the mental side of building a career in this field.
It’s not the flashiest lesson from Included VC, but as I start the job hunt on my own, I can see how much this shift in perspective matters.
What You Really Sign Up For
One thing that stood out to me early on in Included VC was how transparent they were about the reality of this career.
From the very first week, investors came in and showed us their actual schedules. Not the highlight reel — the Tuesday afternoons filled with back-to-back calls, the Thursday evenings spent chasing deals that went cold, their failed deals, the weekends reading pitch decks that might never go anywhere.
They didn’t focus on the glamorous parts, they talked about what it feels like when a portfolio company fails or how long it takes before you really know if you’re any good at this job.
That honesty set the tone for how I think about venture capital now, and it connects to the first big lesson I want to share: ambition doesn’t always work the way you expect it to here.
The Ambition Trap
Venture attracts a certain kind of person: ambitious, curious, competitive. It sounds exciting spotting the next big thing before anyone else, working with brilliant founders, being part of shaping the future and yes, if you’re good at it, the rewards can be huge.
That’s the bright side. The reality is that venture capital runs on a completely different timeline.
Most of us are used to fast feedback. You study, you get grades. You deliver a project, you get recognition. You apply for a job, you hear back in weeks.
Venture Capital doesn’t work like that.
The companies you back today might not prove you right (or wrong) for 7-10 years. The relationships you're building might not pay off for even longer. Deals can take months to close, and fund performance takes years. If you’re wired for quick wins, this job will test you.
The only way to thrive is to change your mindset, learn to think long-term, see every interaction as a deposit in a relationship bank. Celebrate small wins — a useful introduction, a strong conversation, a new insight — instead of waiting for the big headline moments.
That mindset keeps you in the game, but even when you make peace with the long timelines, there’s still another constant you have to face: rejection.
Rejection, Up Close and Personal
Rejection is part of the daily rhythm in venture.
A founder ignores your email. A deal you have been working for three months goes to another firm. The VC fund you admire ignored your email. Job applications disappear into the void because you don’t have the “classic” background.
This isn't occasional. This is Tuesday. It’s normal.
For people coming in without connections, or for those of us who don’t fit the typical VC profile, the no’s pile up even higher. The hardest part is how personal it feels. Your brain doesn’t separate a “no” on a deal from a “no” in your social life. Both hurt, and both make you question if you belong here.
One thing I appreciated about the Included VC Fellowship is how they normalized this from day one. We heard stories from investors who were turned down hundreds of times before getting a break. We learned that rejection isn’t an exception, it’s part of the job and being surrounded by people going through the same thing made a huge difference.
When you’re the only person in your circle trying to break into VC, every rejection feels like proof you don’t belong. When you’re with others facing the same reality, it starts to feel like progress, not failure.
And just when you’ve gotten used to rejection, there’s still something else to deal with: the silence between the wins. The long gap before you know if anything you’re doing is actually working. The slow, sometimes painful cycle of validation.
The Slow Feedback Loop
One of the hardest parts of venture is how slow the feedback loops are. In most careers, you know within months if you're doing good work. In venture capital, it takes 7-10 years to know if your investments were smart, but your brain still craves that dopamine hit of accomplishment every single day.
So in the meantime, you start looking for signals. A partner says something nice. You get invited into a meeting. Someone forwards you a deck first. It feels good and it’s human to want those quick hits of validation.
The risk is when those signals become the only thing you measure yourself by. Praise fades. Titles change. Access shifts. None of it lasts.
What does last are the things you can’t always measure right away: sharper judgment, stronger relationships, the trust you build slowly over time. That’s the real validation, even if it takes longer to show up.
How to Actually Survive This
When you add up the long timelines, the constant rejection, and the slow validation, it’s easy to wonder how anyone makes it in this industry without burning out.
After experiencing Included VC, here’s what I think actually helps:
Build emotional resilience as deliberately as you build technical skills. Most people spend all their time learning how to analyze markets or model cap tables, and none learning how to handle rejection or uncertainty. That balance is off. The technical side is expected. The mindset side is what separates the people who last from the ones who burn out.
Find your people and hold onto them. Peer support isn’t optional, it’s what keeps you grounded. The Included VC community became my lifeline and I’m already feeling the gap without that daily connection. Now I know I’ll have to be more intentional about keeping those relationships alive.
Give, give, give and be a unicorn, not a sheep. Everyone in venture is trying to extract value. The people who win are the ones who share freely, make introductions without keeping score, and help because they want to. Don’t try to be another carbon-copy VC, the industry doesn’t need more of those.
Play the long game. Focus on compounding trust and judgment instead of chasing quick wins. Every conversation makes you sharper. Every relationship is an investment. Every “no” teaches you something that will help with the next “yes.”
Learn the technical side. Understand how deals work, study markets, build models. But spend just as much time preparing mentally because the spreadsheets are the easy part.
The hard part is building a career that moves slowly while staying sane in a world that expects speed.
I’m now in the middle of the job hunt, putting these lessons into practice. If you know of opportunities at VC funds in Europe, especially in the Netherlands, remote roles, Climate Tech, Nature Tech, or even generalist funds, send them my way :)
About the author
Thanks for reading to the end! I’m Cristina — a feminist, community builder, problem solver, and people connector focused on driving investments and innovation where gender and climate meet.
If you’re interested in Nature Tech, Gender, Climate, or the intersection of these areas, let’s connect on LinkedIn.
Great post Cristina! A lot of take homes! It’s important to not just be another carbon copy in the industry.
Cristina, I needed to read this. Reading this helped me recognize small wins I didn’t celebrate and helped me feel better about the wins I celebrated but have forgotten.